Hey All,

I've been seeing a lot of criticism about “emotional release” and “cathartic experience” therapies.

It goes something like this:

• It's performative.
• It doesn't work to heal your trauma.
• Big cathartic experience fools you into thinking you're "healed."
• It actually makes things worse because it reinforces the pattern.

I get it. And it can be true—if the facilitator doesn’t fully understand the true nature of healing.

Feeling your feelings is an important first step. If you have a lifetime of repressed emotions, they need to be expressed. Stuck energy must move.

But it’s not enough to create lasting transformation.

And it can be pointless if it’s done over and over without being present in your experience of it.

By that I mean you’re not dissociating. That’s what the child had to do—and that’s why and how the feelings are repressed.

To heal, we must be willing to feel and stay embodied. And be witnessed.

That’s why, in moments of catharsis, I remind my clients to breathe, feel their feet on the ground, and make eye contact—to be fully here.

And if I don’t think someone has the capacity to do that, I won’t take them there, because they’re not yet ready.

Some people need to slow down first, strengthen their nervous systems, and build their capacity before they’re ready to “go there.”

This requires patience on the part of the facilitator—and the discipline to resist the temptation to give the client a “big experience.”

I made that mistake early in my practice. Most of us do.

But as I gained confidence, I became more attuned to the subtle language of energy. And once I learned to listen to it, it told me exactly how to proceed.

Because healing is not something you do. It’s something you let happen.

The role of the practitioner, then, is to allow—to create the container for the body to do what it needs to do to heal itself.

What is that container? Deep and unwavering presence and attunement. The capacity to be with the client all the way through their experience, whatever it is, and to make no demands.

You might call that love.

And love heals.

❤️👊🏼

Dave

"I remember one morning when I discovered a cocoon in the back of a tree just as a butterfly was making a hole in its case and preparing to come out. I waited awhile, but it was too long appearing and I was impatient. I bent over it and breathed on it to warm it. I warmed it as quickly as I could and the miracle began to happen before my eyes faster than life. The case opened; the butterfly started slowly crawling out, and I shall never forget my horror when I saw how its wings were folded back and crumpled; the wretched butterfly tried with its whole trembling body to unfold them. Bending over it, I tried to help it with my breath, in vain. It needed to be hatched out patiently and the unfolding of the wings should be a gradual process in the sun. Now it was too late. My breath had forced the butterfly to appear all crumpled, before its time. It struggled desperately and, a few seconds later, died in the palm of my hand. That little body is, I do believe, the greatest weight I have on my conscience. For I realize today that it is a mortal sin to violate to great laws of nature. We should not hurry, we should not be impatient, but we should confidently obey the external rhythm." - From Zorba The Greek

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